What’s your Collateral?

Loan

An old Indian went to the bank and asked for $500 loan.
The banker pulled out the loan application, “What are you going to do with the money?”
“Make jewelry and take it to city and sell it,” was the response.
“What have you got for collateral?”
“Don’t know collateral.”

“Well that’s something of value that would cover the cost of the loan.  Have you got any vehicles?”
“Yes, 1949 Chevy pickup.”

The banker shook his head, “How about livestock?”
“Yes, I have a horse.”
“How old is it?”
“Don’t know, has no teeth.”

Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan.

Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank.
He pulled out a roll of bills,

“Here to pay,” he said. He then handed the banker the money to pay his loan off.
“What are you going to do with the rest of that money?”
“Keep in teepee.”

“Why don’t you deposit it in my bank,” he asked.
“Don’t know deposit.”

“You put the money in our bank and we take care of it for you. When you want to use it you can withdraw it.”

The old Indian leaned across the desk, “What you got for collateral?”

Hahaha 🙂

Happy Eid!

Image

“We’ll check the moon tonight”, a  funny remark by my Muslim friend when I asked when is Eid.

Some things still I don’t even try to understand but as part of living in an Arab country it doesn’t hurt to educate oneself.

Some will be happy, some will be sad. Happy, for the time of fasting is over and a breath of new beginning for all our Muslim brothers. As for us, non-Muslims, we’ll be missing the slow and short working hours of Ramadan.

Before starting our regular working schedules, it’s time to reboot. Pack your bags and go on a holiday. It’s Eid! Or maybe not, like me, I don’t want to join the raging swarm of holiday buzzers going to Dubai or out of the country. I will stay put and find things to do in this quiet suburban place- watch movies, go shopping at the local malls, order take-outs, go fishing or swimming. So much to do and alas, so little time.

Whatever you had planned this Eid, just enjoy and have fun!

Eid Mubarak to all!

Hit that panic button!

panic

Life is a lot more complicated now than it was few years ago. There are more things to be stressed about now than before. You don’t agree then read on.

Things that people say nowadays when they panic:
1. Where’s the @$! remote?!
2. Oh my God, my phone is low batt!
3. No electricity? Noooo!
4. No WiFi? Noooo!
5. No (mobile) signal? Oh nooo!
6. I can’t wash! The washing machine is broken!
7. How do I reheat my food now without the microwave?!
8. My TV is not flat!!
9. My mobile doesn’t have WiFi!
10. I don’t have android!
11. Where’s my tablet?! I need to go to the toilet!
12. Download speed at 128 kbps! Nooo!
13. No Internet connection?! Nooo!
14. I don’t have Apple!
15. No Facebook? Oh nooo!
16. No Twitter? Nooo!
17. No Skype? oh nooo!

Things that people think they can’t live without:

  1. Smart phones (plural not singular)
  2. Tablet PC
  3. Apple products
  4. Social media-Facebook, Twitter, etc.
  5. Internet and WiFi connection
  6. Big flat TV
  7. Bluetooth
  8. Android and iOS games and apps
  9. Messenger apps- Skype, WeChat, etc.
  10. Microwave and washing machine
  11. Remote controls
  12. Wireless mouse and keyboard
  13. Xbox and PSP
  14. Printer and scanner
  15. Google

What people do unconsciously and consciously:

  1. Use their mobile phone as a computer mouse.
  2. Wake up and checks their email, Facebook, Twitter, etc. even before going out of their beds.
  3. Touch the screen of their TV monitor to swipe it.
  4. Swipe the screen of an old Nokia model.
  5. Bring their tablet PC to the toilet when they p??p.
  6. Watch a rerun of a TV series after watching it only yesterday.
  7. Type long SMS on a free-to-call wifi app.
  8. Insert a micro SD in a USB port.

asp_adventure_mp_mainimage_Technology, supposedly, should make our lives easier and not complicated.  Take a time out and turn off your mobile, your TV, your tablet and go hiking, swimming, or mountain hiking.

Take a techno detox now!